Everything Has Changed


Nobody expects a person who has undergone major surgery to bounce back the next day as if nothing happened. Yet when people experience traumatic personal loss, they are expected to do just that--get right on with business as usual, even while they are "bleeding to death" inside.

The least helpful thing we can do over the long haul is to ignore the loss, or act like nothing has happened. Business is not usual for our grieving friends. Everything has changed. Our friendships may change, too, and we need to be patient with the evolution.

It is not easy to help someone we love who is grieving. We need a real desire to understand our grieving friend's experience. It takes a lot of courage to enter our friend's pain and suffering because the terrain is filled with rugged hills and valleys.

Because we cannot "fix" things, we can best help the one who grieves by being ourselves. When we are genuine, our friend will feel safe in sharing thoughts and feelings. As we stay true to our own feelings and vulnerabilities, we know that we are human and we will make mistakes. We can appreciate our humanity as we learn about our own limitations and strengths in the process.

It is our relationships that give our lives true meaning. When we are there for a grieving friend, we are companions on one of life's most difficult journeys. We have nurtured a loving relationship and helped another human being heal through compassion. What a wonderful gift to give to, or receive from, a friend.

To explore grief and friendship from a mourner's perspective, please visit
Fair Weather Friends.


Go to next page, Love in Action: Helping Your Grieving Friend

The Grieving Heart is getting a new home...
Grief has no timetable, but the launch of a new website does: August 1, 2019.                                                                     
The updated design will be easy to use, secure and mobile-friendly.
Please visit again. Thank you!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

My E-mail:

Christine (at) The Grieving Heart (dot) info 

A Word About E-mail: One way to decrease SPAM caused by Internet bots is to deactivate the live address link. You can still contact me by typing this address into your own e-mail program using @, a period, and no spaces, the standard e-mail format. Thank you.

Note to Visitors:
I read and respond to grief email at the end of each month when I update this site. If you need a more timely response, please visit a well moderated grief healing discussion group. It is free to use and requires registration to participate. I am not part of this group, but certified grief counselors are there to help, support and comfort grievers and those who love them. Because the counselors lost funding for the site, they are grateful for voluntary donations.
Why no links to Facebook and other social media? Click here for the answer.   


How complicated and individual mending is,
the time required for healing
cannot be measured against any fixed calendar
Mary Jane Moffat
© Copyright 2008 - 2019 Christine Jette.
All rights reserved.