1.  Barfield, Dana. My Friend Just Lost Her Husband. TBG Publishing, LLC, 2010.  

Edited Product Description:

The loss of her husband has been described as the most difficult thing a woman ever encounters because what was once a source of security, has disappeared into a sense of profound uncertainty. My Friend Just Lost Her Husband provides the tools necessary to rebuild the sense of sustained security that women intrinsically seek. Written as the result of Dana Barfield's years of experience in providing financial advice and management for widows and divorcees, it combines these first-hand shared and observed experiences, with extensive interviews from other women who have rebuilt their lives after the loss of their mate.

My Friend Just Lost Her Husband is unique because it the first financial book to consider topics, though seemingly unrelated to finance, that forcefully impact financial decision making: Changes to her thinking as a result of the loss; how her grieving affects her decision making; who is a trustworthy friend; how and why that friend must help at this time; criteria for obtaining the right financial advice; how and why women find themselves involved in a financial or relational horror story; and dealing with taxes, health insurance and investments.

In clear and simple language, Barfield describes the need for a benevolent friend and guide who has only the well-being of the surviving spouse and family in mind. The author has the moral investment experience to offer solid guidance, encouragement and wise support. He understands the emotional shock and crisis of the sudden death of a spouse, with insight into the issues of vulnerability. Barfield offers safeguards that protect the new widow from the greedy, clever and persuasive offers of help from persons intent on diverting assets from the spouse [and family] into their own accounts through deception.

2. Callahan, Maggie and Patricia Kelley. Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs and Communications of the Dying. New York: Bantam Books, 1992, 1997.

Written by two hospice nurses, this warm and reassuring book offers compassionate stories of people at the edge of life. When someone we love is dying, it is hard to know what to do or say, but the dying themselves can supply the answers if we are more aware of the special communication.

Through the stories, readers come to appreciate the ways in which the dying communicate their needs, reveal their feelings, describe their glimpses of life on the other side, and even plan for their time of death. Readers gain new insight into the leave-taking process and discover the gifts of wisdom, faith and love that the dying leave for us to share.

I found the following passage especially comforting. I hope you do, too: "The most important thing to remember when a dying person sees someone invisible to you is that death is not lonely. Many people fear that they, or someone they love, will die alone. In fact, what the stories tell us is that they didn't die alone and neither will we. Those who have died before us, or some spiritual beings, will be companions on our journey." Quoted from page 97.

3. James, John W., et.al., When Children Grieve, Harper Collins Publishers, 2002.

From the Publisher: To watch a child grieve and not know what to do is a profoundly difficult experience for parents, teachers, and caregivers. Yet, there are guidelines for helping children develop a lifelong, healthy response to loss.

In When Children Grieve, the authors offer a cutting-edge volume to free children from the false idea of "not feeling bad" and to empower them with positive, effective methods of dealing with loss.

There are many life experiences that can produce feelings of grief in a child, from the death of a relative, a divorce in the family, [or the death of a beloved pet], to more everyday experiences such as moving to a new neighborhood or losing a prized possession. No matter the reason or degree of severity, if a child you love is grieving, the guidelines examined in this thoughtful book can make a difference.

4. Levang, Elizabeth. When Men Grieve: Why Men Grieve Differently and How You Can Help. Minneapolis, MN: Fairview Press, 1998.

From Fairview Press: Insightful text on the unique character of men's grief and how they face loss. Includes poetry and strategies for partners, friends, and relatives.

The book contains personal essays from men about their experience with grief along with the author's own information and observations about the unique ways men grieve and how they differ from the ways women grieve. Straightforward and well-written, Ms. Levang gives a candid and honest portrayal of men and grief. A compassionate resource for male mourners and the people who love them. Five-star reader reviews at online bookstores.


5. Wolfelt, Alan D. Healing a Friend's Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas for Helping Someone You Love Through Loss. Fort Collins, CO: Companion Press, 2001.

This little book offers 100 fresh ideas for supporting a grieving friend or family member. Examples of helping include: buying your friend a blank journal, organizing a tree planting in the loved one's memory, giving a gift certificate to a day spa, and allowing your friend to cry. You can turn to any page and learn how to help your friend right now, today. Concludes with ten essential qualities of a friend to the bereaved.


6. Worden, J. William. Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Professional. Springer Publishing, 4th Edition, 2008.

Below is an Amazon reader review from the third edition that explains why I chose to include this book in my list of books to help others:

"My mother passed away suddenly this past January. I was going through so many emotions I thought I was going crazy, so someone suggested I get grief counseling, but I'm not the group counseling type. Then someone suggested I get a book and I came across this one and it helped me to understand that everything I was going through was normal. It is amazing how everything in that book pertained to me and exactly how I was feeling. I still have a ways to go but the craziness of it all has subsided and I can better deal with things."

So, in a sense, the woman grieving the death of her mother gave herself grief counseling. If your grieving friend is also not the group counseling type, maybe the book will help you better understand what your friend is going through. You do not have to be a mental health professional to discover effective ways to help. It is well-written and easily read.

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