Grief will not be cheated. It takes as much time as it needs. Our task is to be attentive when the
messages of mind and memory come. Martha Whitmore Hickman
I created the Survivor's Guide because of my experience with helping my
sister settle our mother's estate. We were fortunate because Mom had a wonderful probate lawyer and a thorough will. She thought
of everything. But even with her attention to detail, my sister and I were laden with grief and there was still much work
to do.
In the year following Mom's death, I realized three things: 1) I wasn't taking very good care of myself,
2) it was hard to grieve and learn about the estate process at the same time, and 3) my own affairs were in disarray. And
so, Survivor's Guide was born. We teach best what we need to know. I hope it helps you find some semblance of order
in the chaos. I wish you peace.
NOTE: While there are
many similarities in estate law across the country, there are also many differences. There is no such thing as a standard
American will because every state has its own rules. Buying software that creates a "standard will" is a lot like buying a Swiss Army knife: it may convert to a fork or a spoon,
but not a very good fork or spoon. Likewise, software designed for all 50 states is probably not adequate in any state.
To be fair, software can help you generate questions and organize your thoughts, which will save you money at the lawyer's office, but your will must comply with the laws of your state. On a related note, if you decide to use
an online service such as LegalZoom.com, be certain that the form is specific to your state of residence. My advice: The money that you pay an estate attorney to draw up your will is worth every penny because it ensures that you have a legal document.
The information in this section is for reference only and is not intended as financial or legal counsel. The ideas
presented here may be useful following the death of a spouse, life partner, or for anyone encumbered with executor duties
while grieving the death of a loved one. If you need help, please seek professional advice.
Most of us don't think
about dying when we are age 20, 30, or even 40, but untimely death can and does occur. Your Will, Your Legacy of Love covers plans that you can put in place now, from age 18 on, that will help your loved ones cope later.
Go to next page: Coping with the Outside World
