Suddenly Single: Ten Things to Take Care of Right Away

The death of a spouse or life partner is devastating, made even more difficult because it also involves a number of legal and financial matters. Despite shock and grief, spouses must face important decisions and some decisions need to be addressed as soon after the death as possible.

This is also true if you are the executor or co-executor of any estate. My mother lived more than a decade longer than my father. When she died, my sister and I were left to settle her affairs. Mom made things easier for us because she had a detailed will but that didn’t make the tasks any less final—or any less painful. It would have been much worse for us, however, if our mother had not planned ahead.

The following list may help you think things through at a time when it is hard to focus. Of course not everything listed here will apply to your circumstances, but it may give you ideas on how to begin.

If you are a life partner, but not legally married or in a civil union, your rights to inheritance are not so clear because laws vary from state to state. Please consult an estate attorney if you are a life partner with inheritance questions. The ten steps below pertain to surviving spouses but can also be adapted to adult children with the duty of settling their parents' estate.

Ten Things to Take Care of Right Away:
A Financial Checklist

1. Request 10-12 certified copies of the death certificate from the funeral director so that you will be able to file insurance and Social Security claims and retitle joint accounts.

2. Locate important papers and documents including insurance policies, business agreements, income tax forms, bankbooks, online passwords and ID codes, military records and membership cards. Any of these may entitle you to benefits that you do not know about now.

3. If you are the beneficiary of a life insurance policy, notify your agent to file a claim, and contact Social Security to file for benefits. If your spouse was a veteran, notify the Veterans Administration to apply for benefits, if applicable.

4. Contact your spouse’s Employee Benefits Office and discuss any final compensation coming to you, as well as life insurance, pension, profit sharing benefits, and accident insurance, if this applies to your situation.

5. Locate your spouse’s will and request that your lawyer take steps to begin the probate process.

6. If your spouse had a safe deposit box in his or her own name, ask your lawyer about the proper way to retrieve its contents, since laws differ from state to state.

7. Did your spouse belong to any unions, professional or financial organizations, alumni associations, or other groups? If so, write to each one because membership might entitle you to death benefits, usually through a group life insurance policy.

8. Gather together the paperwork for outstanding debts and promissory notes. Check with the lenders to see of any debts carried an insurance rider that would pay the debt in full at your loved one's death.

9. Have your spouse’s name removed from all joint accounts, investments and joint property, including the titles to any vehicles. This one was especially hard for my sister and me because Mom loved her car. The symbolism of having our mother's name removed from the car title made her death feel oh-so final. You may want a trusted friend or family member with you for support when you remove your loved one’s name from legal documents.

10. Cancel extra credit cards or convert them to your name.

Please don’t take any financial actions that make you feel uncomfortable or that you don’t thoroughly understand. Never sign something without reading it first. Refer to Avoid Making Big Money Decisions for more on coping with the demands of the outside world while you grieve the death of your loved one.

Your net worth may increase after the death of your spouse, but whether you inherit money or not, you should revise your own estate as soon as possible, including review of your will, and changes in beneficiary designations for savings and investment programs.

Click Your Will, Your Legacy for a brief look at estate planning. Why is this the loving thing to do? Because planning now will help your loved ones cope when the time comes to settle your estate.